Tomorrow is the big day. The end of the world is upon us. At least, that’s according to some who are touting the misreading of some Mayan calendar which has allegedly declared that December 21, 2012 to be the last day of human existence. Glory! Well, if that’s the case, then let this be my final blog article, which I know is a vital part in millions (more like tens) of people’s lives, celebrating the end as we know it.
To my friends and family, it was great knowing you. A man could not ask for better. Of course, there are some in my family who would beg to differ, but you’re part of what made life interesting—especially every time I thought of you sitting there in your straight jacket being spoon fed applesauce to go along with your industrial strength Ritalin. What a funny guy! You’re the best. Thanks Troy!
To all my enemies and experts in the fine art of backstabbing (mainly the Muslims, Mormons, and a few egotistical atheists), you are hereby released from any torment of being challenged on how or what to think. In approximately 24 hours that will no longer be necessary, even though you apparently had already implemented such a policy long ago. Kudos on successfully navigating a course of thought-stopping action. If ignorance is bliss, then I can think of no one who might be more elated, with the exception of myself, who am elated for you.
To President Barak Hussein Obama (aka Barry Soetero), what a guy! What can possibly be bequeathed to someone who has it all, has access to it all, is it all? During the course of 30+ years of personally studying frauds and phonies you’ve managed to top them all. And in a world where fraud, cronyism, and deceit are the preferred methods to achieve success, you are the grandmaster of them all as well. Congratulations! Should my recollection exist beyond tomorrow, somewhere in the netherworld, everytime I see something scurry into the darkness I’ll have spine-tingling memories of you.
To all the Church leaders I’ve ever known, what can I say? Sometimes it was fun and most of you were genuinely interested in helping me along. The remainder were, well—not so much. You started out leading me to believe you were interested, but after a couple of years it was quite apparent that I did not fit into your clique. So, all I can say is thanks. Thanks to those who were genuine shepherds willing to help and thanks to those who were patient enough not to blow your covers, while I figured out how the game of religion is played.
To all my alma maters: Baptist Bible College, Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, Biola University and the University of Pretoria, what a ride! No one in my family had ever graduated from college, yet thanks to you I managed to not only make it to the Ph.D. level, but actually taught some of the things I learned during the ride. It was a far cry from what my sister-in-law, Suzy, said, for she thought I would fail and fail badly. What an encouragement she was. If more people were only as smart as her the world would definitely be a better place.
Speaking of schools and teaching, what kind of person would I be if I forgot to issue a big hearty thanks to all the administrators at Tarrant County College? Barbara Coan, Josue Munoz, Sharon Wettengel, Ricardo Coronado, the three Bills (Lanier, Greenhill, Coppola), Rusty Fox and Angela Robinson, you all helped to completely change my life for the worse these past 14 months. You forced me out of something I loved to do, you blamed me for things I didn’t do, while failing to give me credit for things that I did do. In the end you showed what you were made of by doing what you thought was necessary to cover your behinds, regardless of just how unlawful or unethical it was. Thankfully, though, because of what you did to me, other professors are better equipped to know how to handle your fine examples as college administrators. What a great set of role models!
To a beautiful, but cruel, world, it was great. Although I did not get the opportunity to travel and see all the sights personally that I would have liked to, where I was privileged to visit, it was awesome. My favorite spot for a literally breathtaking view was atop the Snowy Range west of Laramie, Wyoming. Peaceful, with all the pink snow and crystal clear lakes and streams, one can see Pikes Peak, hundreds of miles away, on a sunny day. It was like being next to heaven, which in a way, it was, being above the timber line there was nothing left but heaven. My least favorite place? Anywhere in western Kansas. It’s a great place for wheat farmers, and if one wanted to start a monastery, but other than that, one could lose their mind and no one would be around to notice, it is so desolate.
Finally, I want to thank God for leading me astray. “What?” you say. “God led you astray?” Yes. For if the Mayan calendar is correct, then God cannot be who He said he was, much less can what He has revealed about the future to be true either. All the stuff about Jesus dying on a cross and then coming back was a lie. All the stuff about apostasy, the anti-Christ, and rumors of wars, etc., are all nonsense. One thing I’ll give God credit, though, is that He did a great job of fooling a whole lot of other people as well. If there is any consolation of allowing God to dupe me, it would be that He will go down in infamy as a worse villain than I. But, since we’re all to be destroyed in the climatic cataclysm, who cares?
The reality is, God has not lied and tomorrow will not be the last for planet earth. It’s a day that is approaching with each passing day, but it will not be tomorrow. There are still too many things that must happen to bring that day about. When it does come around, though, there are going to be some very sorry sounding people, including all those I mentioned above. So, if you’re reading this, and you happen to be on my list of egregious offenders, you still have time to get your act together. God will forgive and so will I.
On the other hand, if you keep right on doing what you’re doing, thinking that nothing is wrong, then I’ve got a newsflash for you: you’ll die in your sin and there will be no second chances to repent. So, until then, Happy End of the World Day! May the rising of the sun bring you the same joy, peace, and contentment that it will me, in the sense that I know that only God knows the day and the hour when it will all end, not a bunch of misguided pagans, whether modern or ancient, who neither know God, nor care to either.